i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
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