the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
