Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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