My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
