pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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