you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
