You really coming over, don't trick.
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
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So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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