New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
so much tequila, so little girl.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
