i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
