I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
