Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
