sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
