Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
