i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
