That's intense
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
