Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
