the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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