I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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