I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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