Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
