you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
