How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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