$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
