So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
