hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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