Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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