I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
