..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
