After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize