She's JV to your varsity
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
