Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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