D3 body, D1 cock
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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