Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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