seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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