It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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