I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
