Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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