He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
