so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
There are leaves in my underwear?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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