Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
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so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
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He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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