My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
COCAINE IS GR8
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
