So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
