what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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