Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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