I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize
