What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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