i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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