i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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