I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize