Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
