The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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