I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
