Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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