People in love make me want to vomit
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
