bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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