I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We are two peas in an std pod
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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