Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You took a bar mat shot.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
