I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
