absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
