Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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